Just a Little Personal Note

I had a ton of goals at the end of last year and at the beginning of January that included a ton of blog posts that I was so excited to create and share with you.  Then I allowed myself to be distracted by life, and here we are almost mid February and I am posting for the first time this year.  This post was not planned, I sat down last week to write a couple of posts, but I just wasn’t connecting to the words that I had typed out, or to the pictures on the screen.  So I once again put down my laptop and walked away.  Today though, I felt the need to write.  Not about anything that this blog is normally about but just life stuff.  I rarely share much about my personal life, but today I felt the need to write about something deeply personal to me.  I have been single for a very long time.  Confidence has always been an issue for me, the idea of putting myself out there was tough and I found it easier to hide.  So while my friends, family and what seemed like the rest of the world was putting themselves out there and living the highs and lows of romantic entanglements, I stayed single, watching from the sidelines.  There were moments when I made a slight effort, but the second anything seemed difficult I went running back to solitary living like a safety blanket I couldn’t give up.  The truth is that I have spent the majority of my life feeling like I am unworthy of love and my lack of a significant other only further proved this theory to myself.  Last year though I decided to make a genuine effort in the romantic relationship area of my life, and I was elated when I finally met someone who I actually enjoyed spending time with.  When he told me he loved me, I believed him.  It was the first time in my entire life that I was really excited about the possibilities that a romantic relationship could hold.  This is not to say that there were not hiccups.  There were moments when I questioned whether he was really interested in me, whether he had fallen out of love with me, whether we were both on the same page.  When I addressed this with him, I was told that it was just my insecurities that made me feel this way and if there were issues he would talk to me about it.  Stupidly I believed him.  Tomorrow was going to be our 6 month anniversary and yesterday he was talking about the restaurant that he had made reservations at.  We were going to just hang out today and spend some time with each other.  This morning he FaceTimed me to break up with me and I stupidly didn’t see it coming.  We hadn’t been fighting and I missed the subtle hints that this was coming.  The conversation lasted three minutes and I didn’t say much except for “ok” and “bye”.  Right now I am hurt, I am shocked and I am very very sad. I wish that I could just tell myself that he is an asshole and not worthy of my energy and time, but the truth is that I really do love him and I can’t just turn it off so easily.  I know that the love I feel will dissipate with time, but for now I feel bad for still feeling it.  I am also back to questioning my ability to be loved and I think that is what hurts the most.  Despite my insecurity about not being loveable, I know that I will be ok otherwise.  Life will go on and how I live my life moving forward is in my hands, even though I can’t imagine ever putting myself out there again.  I have survived much worse then this.  I know that 6 months is not a long time to be in a relationship and that I am very lucky that I am out of it now rather then waste years of my life on someone whom was not on the same page as I was.  It still stings.

Thank you for bearing with me as I put my feelings down on this post, I really felt the need to write about it just now. I will be back soon with tons of new posts on design, architecture and all things Stylishly Zen!

I hope that you are having a wonderful weekend and talk soon!  XXS

Quote by Nayyirah Waheed, Image via Google Images

Five Faves

Happy September Everyone!

I cannot believe that the summer is over! Truth be told though, I have every intention of keeping the warm weather attitude alive as long as I can.  So that means, that while I will soon be bundled up in boots and coats and cozy cardigans, the happy light weight attitude of summer will remain for as long as I am able to hold on to it.  How are you celebrating the new season (yes I realize that the calendar still gives us a couple of weeks until this actually happens – work with a girl please!)? Let me know in the comments below!

Here are five things that I am currently loving:

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It’s nothing new, but I am seriously loving the pairing of sporty clothing with something more sexy. I am especially into outfits like this one that pairs basic sweatshirts with a cute mini skirt and some fabulous heels. Until I need to seriously cover up and put on some boots I will happily be rocking this trend.

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I am currently on vacation in Madrid where I recently tried this dish – sautéed shrimp with mango and avocado and it was delicious! It is so good and simple to make that I will be recreating it once I get back to Montreal in an effort to keep the summer spark alive!

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I am completely hooked on Money Heist aka La Casa de Papel. I found the first couple of episodes a little challenging to get into, but ever since I am a woman obsessed. I am currently watching season three for the second time and I cannot wait until season four drops (any ideas on when that will be???). If you are looking for a phenomenal show on Netflix to watch (and you are okay with Subtitles unless you are fluent in Spanish), Money Heist is worthwhile checking out.

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Fall is the season for leather, and while I will happily be incorporating a bit of leather into my outfits I am especially loving the idea of accenting my home with it. This chair in particular matched with a jute rug has me on the hunt for a similar version. Love, love, love!

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I came across this on Instagram today felt the need to share. I loved this post because it reminded me that I do have control over somethings, and that I owe it to myself to put effort into them in order to show up as my best self. Therefore, once I am back from vacation I will be putting in the effort in all of these areas of my life in order to be the best version of myself, I owe myself that much as do you!

Thank you for tuning into todays post and I hope that you have a fabulous day! XXS

photo credit: @mrsrodial, @soreiya, http://www.fotograma.com, @happilygreyhome, @thelawofattraction

It’s Time To Bust Out The Summer Clothes

The first half of the year has flown by, and while I barely remember where some of those months went I am so excited to finally enjoy the warmer weather and to bust out the summer clothes. I am feeling stripes and solids, denim and white and summer dresses in every colour imaginable. I am also focusing on me and self care as I hope that you are as well – YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! Take some time to do whatever you need to do to feel balanced, happy and your best and don’t forget to drink tons of water, apply sunscreen and wear clothes that make you happy. Here is my mood board for June:

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All images via http://www.piterest.com

I hope that you have a beautiful and sunny day! XXS❤️

Healing, moving forward and savouring my freedom with style

Happy August Everyone!

The past two months have zipped by, and it’s hard to believe that we are already halfway through the summer! I realize that we are already a week into August but I was having a difficult time putting together my mood board for the month as I entered August under a bit of a dark cloud.  I had finally decided to re-evaluate a toxic relationship in my life that I had let fester for far to long. I took it upon myself to reach out and be completely honest about how I was feeling.  I thought that I was heard, and I was hopeful that things would change for the better.  I gave the person some space to think about our conversation, quietly hopeful to enter a new chapter in our relationship. Unfortunately despite trying to reach out to this person I was met with resounding silence.  Rather then being treated with respect, I was ignored and put off as if my concerns and issues were not valid.  While I am generally a pretty easy going person who hates confrontation, I was left with no choice – either I could accept being treated as an after thought who’s feelings didn’t matter, or I could cut the cord.  That’s when, while scrolling through Instagram I saw the words of wisdom that I posted above “do not look for healing at the feet of those who broke you – Rupi Kuar”.  And I knew what I had to do.  So while I am sad that things didn’t work out, I am grateful for the opportunity to move forward without any regrets. I can honestly say that I tried my best to salvage what could have been, but I couldn’t do it alone. And now I have to move on.  So for the month of August, I will be enjoying my freedom from finally being out from under a dark cloud.  I will be healing any residual wounds I may still carry and taking some time to live in the moment and breathe, all the while rocking some of my favourite warm weather fashion.  My mood board for August reflects all of these goals – enjoy!

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Images from Instagram (@thegoodquote, @wellnesswithkenzie) and Pinterest

I hope that you have a beautiful and sunny day! XXS❤️

Walk Into It With Style

Hi Everyone!

June has been a very hectic month!  I unexpectedly completed my program early and I am now officially a certified Holistic Nutritionist along with being a holistic health and nutrition coach.  While I am very excited to begin this new chapter and career in my life, I am also feeling a bit of trepidation.  I have decided that the best thing to do is to lean into the fear as difficult as that may be at times.  With that in mind, my July mood board is filled with strong fashion detailing, a bit of motivation and esthetic inspiration as I work to lay the ground work to achieve the goals that I have set for myself.  Enjoy!

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Photo credits: @jenniferfisherjewelry, @happilygrey, @dylanlex, @alltrueist_btq, @pazhunter, @figtny, http://www.pinterest.com

I hope that you have a wonderful day! XXS❤️