I had a ton of goals at the end of last year and at the beginning of January that included a ton of blog posts that I was so excited to create and share with you. Then I allowed myself to be distracted by life, and here we are almost mid February and I am posting for the first time this year. This post was not planned, I sat down last week to write a couple of posts, but I just wasn’t connecting to the words that I had typed out, or to the pictures on the screen. So I once again put down my laptop and walked away. Today though, I felt the need to write. Not about anything that this blog is normally about but just life stuff. I rarely share much about my personal life, but today I felt the need to write about something deeply personal to me. I have been single for a very long time. Confidence has always been an issue for me, the idea of putting myself out there was tough and I found it easier to hide. So while my friends, family and what seemed like the rest of the world was putting themselves out there and living the highs and lows of romantic entanglements, I stayed single, watching from the sidelines. There were moments when I made a slight effort, but the second anything seemed difficult I went running back to solitary living like a safety blanket I couldn’t give up. The truth is that I have spent the majority of my life feeling like I am unworthy of love and my lack of a significant other only further proved this theory to myself. Last year though I decided to make a genuine effort in the romantic relationship area of my life, and I was elated when I finally met someone who I actually enjoyed spending time with. When he told me he loved me, I believed him. It was the first time in my entire life that I was really excited about the possibilities that a romantic relationship could hold. This is not to say that there were not hiccups. There were moments when I questioned whether he was really interested in me, whether he had fallen out of love with me, whether we were both on the same page. When I addressed this with him, I was told that it was just my insecurities that made me feel this way and if there were issues he would talk to me about it. Stupidly I believed him. Tomorrow was going to be our 6 month anniversary and yesterday he was talking about the restaurant that he had made reservations at. We were going to just hang out today and spend some time with each other. This morning he FaceTimed me to break up with me and I stupidly didn’t see it coming. We hadn’t been fighting and I missed the subtle hints that this was coming. The conversation lasted three minutes and I didn’t say much except for “ok” and “bye”. Right now I am hurt, I am shocked and I am very very sad. I wish that I could just tell myself that he is an asshole and not worthy of my energy and time, but the truth is that I really do love him and I can’t just turn it off so easily. I know that the love I feel will dissipate with time, but for now I feel bad for still feeling it. I am also back to questioning my ability to be loved and I think that is what hurts the most. Despite my insecurity about not being loveable, I know that I will be ok otherwise. Life will go on and how I live my life moving forward is in my hands, even though I can’t imagine ever putting myself out there again. I have survived much worse then this. I know that 6 months is not a long time to be in a relationship and that I am very lucky that I am out of it now rather then waste years of my life on someone whom was not on the same page as I was. It still stings.
Thank you for bearing with me as I put my feelings down on this post, I really felt the need to write about it just now. I will be back soon with tons of new posts on design, architecture and all things Stylishly Zen!
I hope that you are having a wonderful weekend and talk soon! XXS
Quote by Nayyirah Waheed, Image via Google Images
How is your fall going so far? With the leaves changing, stunning sunsets (like the one above that I captured yesterday) and fabulous fall fashion, I am loving the new season so far! Here are my five favourite faves for the month:
With the cooler temps I am craving warming foods and getting creative in the kitchen every chance that I get. This grilled zucchini with stracciatella looks simple enough to make yet delicious enough to want to enjoy on a regular basis as a health side dish.
I recently ordered this coffee table book and I am loving it! As you know travelling and decor are two things that I love so the combination that this book provides is perfect for me. I find myself escaping into it whenever I get the chance, love it!
Fall fashion is always my favourite and this season is no exception. I am especially loving pairing blazers with everything from a full suit to jeans, leggings or even a dress. Here are three outfits that I am currently pulling inspiration from and my causal version for days when I am rushing but still want to look put together.
I often find myself feeling really stressed out and it’s often difficult to change the way I think about stress. I found the above image on Instagram (via @mindbodygreen) and I have decided to change my narrative. Here’s hoping that I birth something great due to my narrative shift!
I am overwhelmed with decorating decision for my condo which means that I have done very little. I found this image for a bedroom recently in my home design file (via @coveteur) and it perfectly captures the vibe that I was hoping for in my new place. It is now front and centre on my vision board as I move forward with my home decor project – wish me luck!
I hope that you are having a wonderful October so far, let me know what you are currently loving in the comments below. I hope that you have wonderful day! XXS
I don’t know what has been going on, but these past few months have just flown right by! A part of me still thinks that it is March, but the fact that I am currently writing this blog post while sitting on my balcony, enjoying the warm weather and sipping on an Aperol Spritz implies that we are much further into 2019 then I care to admit to myself. This means that I have now been living in my new place for over six months and I have barely scratched the decorating surface! It is about time that I kick things into gear and give myself a deadline.
The biggest challenge that I am currently facing in terms of decorating, is that I can’t seem to decide what I like, and when I do decide I can’t seem to find it OR it is completely out of my budget! What is a girl to do???
Having said all of this, I think that I have narrowed it down and in my head things are finally starting to come together (or so I hope). I finally painted my living room – I went for a pure white colour which I absolutely love, and now time for the fun part…decorating! To find inspiration I have been doing A LOT of research and today I am sharing with you a project that I recently stumbled across from a studio who’s work I have admired for a few years now.
Bao Proyectos is a Madrid based firm who’s work is clean, fresh and absolutely gorgeous! Their projects include the One Shot Hotel in Saville along with countless private residences and restaurants. Today’s Inspiring Interior is a private residence in Madrid that really captured the mood that I would love to achieve within my own home.
This light filled residence has a clean aesthetic thanks to countless windows, bright white walls and minimal furnishings. Despite the minimal aesthetic, the home still looks lived in and welcoming – this is often challenging to achieve, yet the team at Bao Proyectos has achieved it beautifully. Built in book cases and storage along with intelligent furniture choices helps to achieve a clean, sleek yet inviting look that I absolutely love. Playful accents such as the yellow couch against a mint green wall and the geometric designed storage in the bedroom and rugs throughout the home, help to infuse some fun into the overall clean aesthetic. The icing on the proverbial cake of this stunning apartment is the gorgeous bathroom with marble and matte black hardware – heaven! Bao Proyectos did a wonderful job on this project and I can’t wait to see what they achieve in the future! Take a look:
All images from http://www.baoproyectos.com
I hope that you have a beautiful day! XXS
Today’s Inspiring Interior is the very definition of Stylishly Zen. Located in Carlton, Australia, this light filled family home is chic, unique and incredibly charming. It combines elements of a Victorian era home with Parisian chic and the result is heavenly.
The bold blue door and lovely Victorian details are the perfect welcome to this home. Inside, a clean colour palette of white walls and dark floors are the perfect backdrop to showcase the many gorgeous details of this family home. Dark herringbone floors, a marble waterfall island and unexpected furniture colour choices elevate this home to a new level.
I especially love the pink dining chairs and the blue couch which helps to carry the charm of the exterior into the home. Sculptural lighting and neutral furniture otherwise help to balance out the showcase furniture.
Plenty of large windows allow natural light to fill the home and it helps to bring nature indoors which adds an additional level of calm to this serene family home.
The attention to detail is incredible and I love how certain elements such as sculptural lighting, herringbone flooring and marble quietly repeats itself throughout the home.
This dreamy family home will have a consistent spot on my inspiration board for current and future projects, Love! Love! Love!
Interior design services by Biasol Design Studio
Photo credit: http://www.biasol.com.au
I hope that you have a beautiful and stylish day! XXS